Why do men enjoy going down on women

It was like her body was telling me 'You can go there, but you always have to be aware that you are going someplace vulnerable, and I have to protect myself. This act was truly special. My brain neurons light up like a Vegas casino with just the thought, the privilege, of being down there. Dear readers, what do you think? Did his description surprise you? Do you like when guys go down on you, or do you prefer having sex? Does your boyfriend like giving oral sex? Shannon Chavez , clinical psychologist, certified sex therapist.

I have heard a concern that giving a partner oral sex will lead to cheating with a woman, or that too much oral sex will lead to out of control sexual desire by a partner.

But in my practice, I find that more men are comfortable giving oral sex with no expectations of receiving it in return.

I think that most men I work with know that oral sex is pleasurable for her and want her to enjoy sex. Some are dealing with genital shame or misconceptions around odor, appearance, or feeling dirty.

Some women feel too embarrassed to talk to a partner about how to receive oral sex in a way that feels good. Some women have never received oral sex in a pleasurable and sensual way. Nagma Clark , licensed sex therapist. In my experience as a sex therapist, I have noticed that oral sex continues to be a controversial topic among heterosexual couples.

On one hand, there are couples who absolutely love going down on each other and consider oral sex to be a very important part of their sexual repertoire. On the other hand, I see couples where one partner is really into oral sex and the other is not. I find it very interesting how many women are concerned about the way they taste or smell and that is usually a big reason for them to not want their partners to go down on them. Men rarely report any concerns about how they smell or taste!

Also, more women than men, feel obligated to engage in oral sex and will do it because their partner expects them to do so, and they want to please their partner. Christian Jordal, licensed marriage and family therapist, clinical assistant professor of couple and family therapy at Drexel University.

I work primarily with individuals and couples, as well as throuples or triad relationships. It made me sneeze once. That was an awkward encounter. Weight Loss. United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Taraji P. And the worst and why it was bad? Man B: The worst is when I'm with a partner that gets self-conscious and asks me to stop. I feel like I've failed to set the mood right and make them feel as beautiful as they are to me.

Man C: I was 19, had met a girl at a heavy metal club, and we snuck out the back together. The rear yard of the club was covered with gravel and after some pretty inept fumbling, she lay back and I started to go down on her. The combination of dancing all night, and going in and out of the bathroom, had not mingled to produce a pleasant aroma.

She was soaked with sweat and unfortunately did not taste the nicest anyway. I ended up with gravel cuts on my hands and on my chin when I slipped a little. She was shivering because of the cold, and I was beginning to realize that I would not be able to perform. In the end, we gave up and went back into the club. Man D: Probably early on when I emerged, dripping, from under the duvet to find a partner who'd gone from tipsy to asleep.

I thought she was just getting very close [to orgasm]. Do you need to be at a certain point in the relationship to go down on your partner? Man A: That really depends on how each person feels, but if you're already having sex with someone, I can only imagine good things happening if you proactively go down on her or ask if she wants that.

The first time I had sex with my girlfriend, we didn't get to it, mostly because we were so busy having all kinds of other very passionate sex. Then I got home and was like, "Shit, I forgot to go down on her. Man C: The first time going down on a partner, I follow her. I've never pushed for it, or at least I hope I haven't. If we are playing around, and I start making my way down there, to me it's very simple. If she starts to tense up or seems uncomfortable, etc. On the other hand, I have also been with girls who just cannot wait to push your head down there.

Man D: For me, no. I've had partners for whom it's an exceptionally intimate act, and they've asked me not to go down on them. I respect that feeling, and for some of them, we've never reached that point. I think there's still some anxiety from women about what guys will think of them "down there," and I guess that's because there are some guys who don't enjoy it but do try and use it to "score points. Do you talk about it with your guy friends and trade tips or anything?

Man A: I haven't done much of that, no. I tend to be more private about my sex life. Man B: No, I haven't gone down that path myself, but I've overheard plenty of locker room talk … but that's for a different column.

Man C: No. I have two close friends who are in steady relationships, and one has never gone down on a girl in his life. His girlfriend has never let him, so talking to him would be pointless.

I couldn't offer or trade tips as they would think it the height of arrogance or cockiness. At the same time, if they tried to offer me tips, I think my ego would flare up and ignore them. Man D: Whoa, never. I don't think my friends and I have ever even talked about it, let alone discussed the detail or technique.

What's the secret to giving good head, in your opinion? Man A: Hmm, I'd say listen with your tongue and your ears. You need to feel around with your tongue to make sure you're navigating the folds of skin and landing on the clit, and then listen to her responses to gauge your intensity.

Man B: It's not about the head, it's about the build up and the teasing leading up to it. If you do a good job setting the mood, and keeping the mood, then most of your work is done. As far as actually giving head is concerned, keep things interesting. Lick, suck, and kiss anywhere and everywhere. Don't be afraid to try something new or something that might seem a little strange at first.

If it feels good, then nothing else will matter. Man C: Follow the girl's lead. Start slowly, kiss and lick softly first. Then read her reactions. People who say they have "guaranteed techniques" are either liars or just deluded.

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